Fun With Luggage

So the other day I got into a conversation with one of my upperclassmen about the evaluations she was supposed to be doing of her crew members. Apparently she had an assortment of less than useful people. This lead to what for her was probably a less than useful explanation of the varying degrees of useless crew members and what you might call them (in any context other than say - a crew evaluation, or god forbid to their face).

On the more useful end of the spectrum you have your "Jeds." Jed is someone that can be depended on to hold something still in a particular position with some precision. In this way this person is like a clamp, and that's the source of the name. Or rather the Beverly Hillbillies venerable father figure: Jed Clampett. You'll also often here people in a shop refer to a clamp as a Jed Clampett, but I am partial to using the designation for crew members.

Someplace just a little less useful than a Jed is a Jack. There's a piece of standard scenery referred to as a stage jack. Its used to hold up flats (or walls). A Jack on your crew can be told where to stand and to keep something from falling over. One day, when I am boss of my own little outfit, and when I have a CNC router table I am going to make stage jacks from 3/4 ply cut in the shape of people with one arm up and the other on their hip. I think I would enjoy having them around - at least they would be quieter than actual Jacks.

Next on the food chain, below the Jeds and the Jacks you find Sam. Someone called Sam really can't be counted on to do anything. Sam in this case is short for Samsonite - because as far as usefulness to your crew, this person is luggage. You are going to have to carry them.

A slightly different classification of personnel is the dramaturg. At the other school we had a pigiron we used to hold doors open labeled "simulated dramaturg." Enough said.

Anyway, I'm not sure it helped too much with the task at hand, but it was probably a little educational. Some days that's all you can hope for.