More Beach Boys Carnage

I think I may have to go see this thing, just so that I have it in mind for future comparisons.

SURF'S DOWN
By MICHAEL RIEDEL

CRITICS and theater insiders agree!

"Good Vibrations" is the worst musical of the season, maybe even the worst
musical of all time!

It makes "Footloose" (once the gold standard of awfulness) and "Dracula"
look like masterpieces of the American musical theater.

All three shows, by the way, were produced by Dodger Stage Holdings, the
Broadway production company that's done more damage to Western
civilization than the Visigoths.

The contempt around Broadway for "Good Vibrations," the Beach Boys musical
that opened Wednesday at the Eugene O'Neill Theatre, is striking.
As one theater executive puts it: "You usually feel bad, if you're in this
business, when somebody gets these kind of notices. But, man, they got
what they deserved."

How much do theater people hate this show?

Well, one Tony voter who saw it the other night called to complain about
the finale, during which the cast throws beach balls at the audience (John
Carrafa staging, at its most imaginative).

"How dare they throw things at us," fumed this voter, who was bonked on
the head with one of the balls. "And it hurt!"

I'm told another voter complained to the management about the beach ball
assault.

Clearly, roles have been reversed here.

The cast should not be throwing things at the audience.

The audience should be throwing things at the cast.

And not beach balls.

Bricks.

The question now is, How long can "Good Vibrations" hold on?

Surveying the reviews yesterday, the only quote I could find that could be
used in an ad campaign was in Variety, which said the show was "not quite
the history-making train wreck trumpeted in advance."

I'm not sure that works on the side of a bus.

If Jujamcyn Theaters, which owns the O'Neill, has any say, "Good
Vibrations" will be consigned to the flop wall at Joe Allen's very soon.
Rocco Landesman, Jujamcyn's president, is already in negotiations to move
the well-received off-Broadway revival of "Hurlyburly" into the O'Neill by
spring.

David Rabe is willing to cut a half-hour out of his three-hour plus play,
and the producers are seeking money for the transfer.

So it would appear that the Dodgers will have fun, fun, fun till Rocco
takes their T-Bird away.

The Dodgers, however, are unlikely to go down without a fight, and their
spokesman told The Post that they "absolutely plan to run" the show.
One production source says that as long as the show doesn't lose money,
the Dodgers will keep it open.

Before the reviews came out, "Good Vibrations" was taking in, on average,
about $325,000 a week, which is probably enough to keep its head above
water (quick, somebody hand me a hose).

Dodger chief Michael David, an eccentric figure on Broadway, with his long
gray beard and the white sneakers he wears with his tuxedo, will probably
try to run "Good Vibrations" just to spite critics.

Shortly before he shut down "Dracula," he told his cast that the critics
had a "vendetta" against the show and were "frustrated" that it wasn't as
bad as they were hoping it would be, so they decided to kill it anyway.
Zany logic, but I suppose it can be interpreted as some sort of a pep talk
for a demoralized bunch of actors.

Whatever pep talk he delivers to the cast of "Good Vibrations" is going to
have to be of Churchillian proportions.

The only hope for "Good Vibrations" is that Beach Boys fans turn out
despite the reviews.

And in fairness, I have to report that I've received letters from readers
who enjoyed the show.

Responding to a column I wrote last week about "Good Vibrations," Marcy
Bianco, of Plantation, Fla., wrote: "The article by that well-known
Broadway expert, Mr. What's His Name, was nothing short of vicious.
"I, along with a huge contingent of friends and family, absolutely loved
the show. The ambiance and the performances were a welcome change from
most of the depressing fare dished up on Broadway these days.

"I wouldn't hop a plane to go see a musical about Lee Harvey Oswald and
John Hinckley [Stephen Sondheim's "Assassins"], but I'd go to New York any
day to see 'Good Vibrations' again."

And George Haber, of Jericho, N.Y., said I "came down a bit hard on what
is basically a bubble-gum, good-time evening. On a scale of one to 10,
where 'The Lion King' or 'The Producers' is a 10, I'd give 'Good
Vibrations' a five or six."

Would that Ms. Bianco and Mr. Haber were members of the New York Drama
Critics Circle.

Then Michael David would have a fighting chance.

Copyright 2005 NYP Holdings, Inc. All rights reserved.

At least this one aims sort of dismisses the show itself and focuses its ire on the producers more specifically. Still, I would hate to be the family member of someone in this show opening night...

"Gee David, what did you think?"