Saturday, July 15, 2006

Ooh Baby, Don't Stop, Don't Stop!

I really do like Pittsburgh. I like the point, the waterfront, the stadiums, Squirrel Hill, Shadyside. There's so much to like.

BUT THERE IS ONE THING ABOUT THIS TOWN THAT JUST JAMS IN THE CRACK OF MY ASS AND IT MUST END, NOW! PEOPLE, THAT LANE, THE ONE FOR GETTING ONTO THE HIGHWAY, THE "MERGE" LANE - EVERYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD THAT IS ALSO KNOWN AS THE ACCELERATION LANE!

JUST BECAUSE ONCE IN YOUR LIFE YOU HAPPENED TO DRIVE A MERGE IN PITTSBURGH THAT HAS A STOPSIGN AT THE END OF THE THING DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU SHOULD STOP WHEN THERE IS NO SIGN. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING UP TO SPEED. STOPPING JUST MAKES MERGING HARDER.

PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN ON THAT RIGHT PEDAL AND MERGE ALREADY.

Sorry about that. I almost had an accident today trying to do a perfectly normal merge when I looked in front of me to discover that the car there had inexplicably stopped. It is a creature of Pittsburgh drivers. If the evolutionary solution to this wouldn't jam up other people I think I would wholeheartedly support the ramming option.

By the way, just in case you don't believe a civil engineer could do something so insane as put a stop sign at the end of an on ramp, I give you "The Merge of Death":

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What is especially great about that particular merge pictured is that you are merging into an "Exit Only" lane -- so you have to then merge into another lane before 500 feet is up, or you'll be right back off the highway. That's right. Merge across two lanes from a dead stop. Good idea.