Did you know that the people currently running our country may in fact be crap weasels? I offer this example...
Last night while watching The Colbert Report I heard that it turns out we seem to have had some actual good news about the environment. Data collected for last year indicates that we actually had an increase in the number of square miles of wetlands in the US. That would seem to suggest that environmental groups prevailing on developers to spare existing wetlands and to make provisions for wetlands in new development may have been having some success.
Now, before we get excited about the news, realize this is comedy central. The other shoe must be about to drop on this story.
Were I the writer for the Report I would have said something to the effect that the unexpected increase in American wetlands was centered around the New Orleans 9th ward. Topical, ironic, maybe a little true - just the kind of thing that would work on that kind of show. But this actually didn't turn out to be a case of where they had to think up a joke. This was the kind of time where the joke just wrote itself. See, the increase in the statistical amount of American wetlands was in fact due to the US government bureau that tracks such things redefining just what it takes to be a wetland...
From now on, the assessment of wetlands shall include: water hazards on golf courses.
This shit just writes itself sometimes. These guys are such crap weasels they might as well just say "let them eat cake" and be done with it:
"Mr. President, Mr. President there is an ecological crisis! Developers have destroyed all the wetlands!"Clear Skys Initiative, Sectarian Insurgents, Enemy Combatants, No Child Left Behind, Compassionate Conservative, Oil Exploration, Personal Saving Accounts - Webster's is going to have to do a new edition.
"Let them have golf courses."
6 comments:
Well, leaving aside water hazards on golf courses, I would think that the whole global warming thing would be a quandary for the environmentalists. Because if global warming does indeed accelerate, the number of *real* wetlands will increase exponentially.
Of course, to be fair, true environmentalists don't claim that global warming will be bad for the environment. It will just be bad for people.
Thanks for that generous, if misleading, qualifier, Blake.
In fact, very generous of you, as it follows such a Coulter-esque observation.
If anyone wants to read more about what David is talking about, there's an article at grist.org.
Calling my comment "Coulter-esque" doesn't change the fact that it's true on its face.
It's a fact that the global warming theory predicts rising sea levels and inundation of coastlines worldwide. If that happens, natural wetlands will increase dramatically. Nature will adapt and they will rapidly become thriving ecosystems.
Of course the people who used to live there might be somewhat inconvenienced but that doesn't mean the environment itself is damaged.
Providing a definition of global warming sans snark does not mean that the first comment was not full of it, with the "quandary for environmentalists" cheap shot, and the condescension in your "to be fair" follow up.
What continues to irritate me is although you say it's a fact (and I do agree), you're making it sound like global warming is *purely* a natural occurrence, and it's not.
I was sitting here writing this long, informative post, laying out the facts that I do know, noting the issues that are still unresolved, and the things we should all be aware of concerning this political football, and then it hit me. I don't think you're concerned about the issue at all. You're concern is that this issue makes the administration sound callous and insensitive, and you just couldn't let that pass. DB called this administration "Crap Weasels," and that ticked you off. I've noticed in the past that you don't comment unless DB writes something remotely political. Then, there you are, firing cheap shots -- in this case, at people who consider themselves environmentalists -- and using misleading statements to form your argument.
In my opinion.
It pains me so to see friends snapping at eachother.
Changing coastlines doesn't automatically make for more wetlands as the climate change also makes many existing wetland areas arid.
Having a contrary opinion doesn't automatically make someone Anne Coulter. And even if we don't like Anne Coulter we still need her.
Check the name of the blog.
>What continues to irritate me
> is although you say it's a
> fact (and I do agree), you're
> making it sound like global
> warming is *purely* a natural
> occurrence, and it's not.
Maybe it is and maybe it's not. No one can really be sure what's causing global warming. Yes, average temperatures around the world are rising but they've risen far higher in the distant past, long before there were even humans, let alone automobiles and coal-fired generating plants. We've only been keeping detailed climate records for a couple hundred years. You can't take such a relatively tiny bit of data and state conclusively that the current warming trend isn't just part of a natural cycle of the earth, that we're not on the upswing of the same kind of waming cycle that's happened dozens of times throughout the history of the planet.
And here's just one small fact to ponder: the eruption of Mount Pinatubo in the Philippines in the 1990's ejected more particulates and greenhouse gases into the atmosphere in ONE DAY than mankind has produced since the start of the Industrial Revolution. Seems like we're just spitting in the ocean, when you think about it.
> DB called this administration
> "Crap Weasels," and that ticked
> you off.
With all due respect, you don't even know me. I wasn't ticked off and I have no particular love for the current administration. I'm certainly not their cheerleader.
> I've noticed in the past that you
> don't comment unless DB writes
> something remotely political.
That's because when he isn't posting about politics, he's either posting about his personal life or about the world of theater tech or the ins and outs of teaching at the college level, none of which I know anything about and am not remotely qualified to comment on.
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