Details, details

Have I mentioned before that if this wedding were somebody else's it would have been planned ages ago? As a professional project manager I look at this process and keep wondering why it is so hard. In a prior job incarnation I think the file for this gig would hardly have registered on my desk at all. As far as elements, its not a real big job. It is an out of town gig - that makes it a little more complicated. But really, on scope alone, this is hardly even a mainstage.

The rub is that we're invested. And not only are we invested, but there are a bunch of directly involved parties that are invested. You lose those great planning proverbs:

It'll be dark, they'll be drinking!

and

If they're looking at that, there's something really wrong with the show.

Its those little escape hatches that separate our realization of theatre designs from planning our own wedding. Also, that designer or director you bitch about to your friends at the bar on a show, on your wedding, that person is very likely a parent, or an inlaw, or your best friend.

It makes a difference. This is what turns what would be a run of the mill production in your professional life into the Democratic National Convention.

I actually think being able to see that difference makes it even harder. Every time you get stressed over some small detail you know in the back of your mind that in the grand scheme its really nothing. But you don't have the luxury of the grand scheme - not until the day of. And here is what is likely another difference between planning a gig and planning your own wedding. With a gig, when the day comes, its all for someone else. Usually by then you're on to the next job. Not so with your wedding. That day is for you, and all that prep and angsting pays off for you, not for someone else. Hopefully that will make it worth all the stress.

And then of course, the wedding isn't really about the day, but the life to come. Really that's the grand scheme. And that's a level you can appreciate.