Question #4

4. If you could be any religion but the one you are/were raised in, which would it be and why?

This one is tough for me. I have the twin answering difficulties of not having had a substantive battle with my family faith as well as really not knowing enough about any other faith to have envied it. I grew up in a mixed marriage. My parents received the instruction from my grandparents: "just make sure they get something." So although our home was predominantly one way, for a while we had bits and pieces of a couple of heritages.

Truth be told I think that might be a good thing. Maybe my answer to this should be "I'll have the buffet!" Take the best things from all the world's religions and leave the chaff aside.

Growing up less than devout I always had a gnawing inside me that religion as a pursuit was hypocritical and misguided. What I saw was people putting on the Sunday best must less often than each weekend to go see and be seen. There's a joke that goes around about seating for services that expresses what I mean about my own experience pretty well:

SUBJ: Seating Request Form
During the last holiday season, many individuals expressed concern over the seating arrangements. In order for us to place you in a seat which will best suit you, we ask you to complete the following questionnaire and return it to the office as soon as possible ...

1. I would prefer to sit in the... (Check one:)
___ Talking section
___ No talking section

2. If talking, which category do you prefer?(Indicate order of interest)
___ Stock market
___ Sports
___ Medicine
___ Congregates' secret medical tragedies
___ General gossip
___ Specific gossip (choose:)
___ Fashion news
___ What others are wearing
___ Why they look awful
___ Your neighbors
___ Your relatives
___ Your neighbors' relatives
___ Sex (Preference:
___ Who's cheating on/having an affair with whom
___ Other:

3. Which of the following would you like to be near for free professional advice?
___ Doctor
___ Dentist
___ Nutritionist
___ Psychiatrist
___ Child psychiatrist
___ Mother in law
___ Podiatrist
___ Chiropractor
___ Stockbroker
___ Accountant
___ Attorney
___ Real estate agent
___ Architect
___ Plumber
___ Buyer (Specify store: _______________________ )
___ Sexologist
___ Golf pro
___ Other: ____________________________

4. I want a seat located (Indicate order of priority:) ___ On the aisle ___ Near the exit ___ Near the window
___ Near the bathroom
___ Near my in-laws
___ As far away from my in-laws as possible
___ As far away from my ex-in-laws as possible
___ Near the pulpit
___ Near single men
___ Near available women
___ Near anyone who's available; I'm bisexual or just not particular
___ Where no one will notice me sleeping during services
___ Where I can sleep during the sermon [additional charge]

5. Please do not place me anywhere near the following people:
(Limit of six; if you require more space, you may wish to consider joining another congregation.)

Your name: _________________________________

See what I mean? I know this is just a community thing, but whatever. I guess if I were picking a religion I would pick one that didn't lend itself to that type of thing so easily.

Although maybe that's more about people than religion.

I think I am getting off track. I don't think I have a specific answer to this question. However, I think I have a shopping list. Here's what I would be looking for:

• something that makes no real judgment about your commitment to your own faith, either with your time or your money - and in a congregation where the other people do not make those judgments either.
• something that does not glorify its divinity by teaching that other faiths are wrong, or less than.
• something where you can make your expression either privately or in a congregation without a real difference - whatever you are comfortable with.
• something that treats all races, sexes, and nationalities with respect.
• something where the faith is obviously a celebration of the congregation and not of the religion or its leaders.

That's a rough outline. The interesting thing to me of course is I think that people of many faiths (maybe all faiths) could respond to this post saying I am describing their religion.

Who knows, maybe I am.