Question B

Another question from the More Questions post...

B. If you could go back in time and visit your angst-ridden adolescent self, what would you say to him?

Sort of my own high school guidance counselor talk to myself? Something like that. This assumes I was particularly angst ridden? Or that all adolescents are angst ridden?

I would tell myself to work harder, to study more, and to do the homework. To challenge myself and not cruise, that getting the most from the education is important and that it is my responsibility. That time in school is precious and shouldn't be wasted because after its over you really don't get that kind of opportunity again.

I would tell myself that that challenge should not be limited to education but to all types of personal growth. That I could not afford to be so selective and so judgmental. That trying new things and meeting new people are things best done while one is young and only get harder as you get older. Patterns become established, time becomes a premium, opportunities become more scarce and as a result change becomes more difficult.

That level of challenge is only the symptom though. I would explain to myself that the important thing is not only to try things that make one uncomfortable, but also to work like hell to become comfortable being uncomfortable. The hard choices in life, and the ones that provide real opportunity and real growth are not the comfortable ones; they're the ones where you can't see the outcome, can't predict the results, often can't even weigh the options. Being capable of making an incomplete assessment, making a decision, and then coping in real time without stress is paramount.

I would also want to advise myself that those leaps and explorations were going to produce many mistakes and that I would likely get hurt. That pain is a good pain though. Its the pain you feel from stretching to your limit or from giving more than 100%, and like pain from exersion it will fade if treated properly. There's no need to carry that pain and fear forward. You learn from the experience and move on. The rest is just baggage.

So, work hard, challenge yourself and your boundaries, work on being comfortable being uncomfortable, and don't rehash ad nauseum. That's pretty good advice. I probably got some of it at that time from my mentors, doesn't mean I listened. Realistically, some of this stuff I probably still don't do today regardless of who mentions it. Still, I think its good advice.